It is possible to have an amicable divorce in England. Although the marriage may have irretrievably broken down many spouses can and do arrange the divorce, settle the financial issues arising from the marriage and/or deal with contact or residence arrangements for any children by agreement between themselves. It is difficult for divorce to be truly amicable. The marriage has broken down after all. It is also fair to say that it may be difficult to think straight at first because splitting up is often traumatic.
Although people often talk about 'defending' a divorce, in practice defended divorces are as rare as hen's teeth. There is good reason for that. In England one can only obtain a divorce if one can prove to a court that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. It takes two to make a marriage. If one spouse issues a divorce petition then it is reasonably clear that so far as that spouse is concerned the marriage has irretrievably broken down. This is as obvious to a court as it is to anyone else.
Q. I separated from my daughter’s father at Christmas and only recently have I managed to get him to have her for overnight contact on Thursdays but I cannot get him to agree to weekends. I would be very happy for my ex to have her every other weekend or something at least. My daughter is always asking to spend more time with my ex and I find it very frustrating not to be able to give her an answer. Is there any type of legal document I can present to him to get him to agree week days and weekends because, to be honest, I have about had enough. It is totally unfair that he has all his weekends free to do whatever he pleases.
A. No, you cannot compel a parent with whom the child does not live to have contact with the child – no matter how frustrating that may be. You can compel the absent parent to maintain the child financially but not to have contact with the child. Contact is a matter of personal choice which cannot be compelled.
Q. I have been married for just 9 weeks but I now know it was a mistake. How quickly can I get a divorce?
A. In England there is an absolute bar on divorce within the first 12 months of marriage so it will be another 42 weeks or so before you can issue a divorce petition. You do not, of course, have to continue living together until then if you don't want to.
Q I separated from my spouse by mutual consent about 10 years ago and we have since lost contact. Is there anyway I can find out if I have been divorced?
A. You can find out if you have been divorced in England (or Wales) by conducting a search for decree absolute at the Search Section of the Principal Registry of the Family Division, 42 High Holborn, London WC1.
Q. I discovered last week that my spouse is having an affair. I am considering divorce on the grounds of adultery but I am concerned as to who would have to 'foot the bill'.
A. It is the person who issues the divorce petition who pays the costs in the first instance unless the other spouse agrees to pay some or all of the costs or unless a court can be persuaded to order the other spouse to pay some or all of the costs.
Q. I have left my husband. My new partner and I have had a child together and would like to get married but my husband won’t give me a divorce. What can I do?
A. You don’t need your husband’s permission or co-operation in order to have a divorce. You can probably petition for divorce on the grounds of your husband’s unreasonable behaviour because most people can obtain divorce on that ground when a marriage breaks down.
Q. Can I petition for divorce on the ground of my adultery?
A. You cannot petition for divorce on the grounds of your own adultery. You can only petition for divorce on the grounds of adultery if it is the other spouse who has committed the adultery. You can probably petition for divorce on another ground though.
Q. My wife obtained an injunction so that I had to leave the house and live with my parents. The mortgage is my wife’s name.
A. It is very important that you register your interest in the house at the Land Registry. That is because you do not live at the property and it is in the sole name of your wife even though you have a major financial stake in it because it was the matrimonial home. As things stand your wife could sell or remortgage the property without any reference to you. It is very important that you protect your interest in the property under these circumstances. You can do that by registering a Notice of Home Rights obtainable from the Land Registry. The relevant from is called Form HR1.
Q. I am an American currently living in London with my American husband. We've only been here about a month and been married one year. I would like a divorce. Am I eligible to file for divorce in the UK?
A. In order to be able to issue a divorce petition in England you need to be either resident here for one year immediately preceding the issue of the divorce petition or you need to be domiciled here. You are not domiciled here because you are American. And you do not satisfy the residence requirement because you have only lived here for a month. You would need to live here for another 11 months before you can issue a divorce petition here.
Q. I am thinking about divorcing my husband, but I was wondering where I stood if I left the matrimonial home and took certain items that have a sentimental value to me before I issued the divorce.
A. Generally speaking in divorce whoever is in possession of chattels gets to keep them unless agreement can be reached to allow the other spouse to collect them. If you do have items of sentimental value in the home and you are thinking of leaving then it may be wise to take them with you. If you do not you may find that they disappear or that there is avoidable dispute about getting them returned to you. Of course, taking items of ‘sentimental value’ is different from stripping the house bare.
Q. I do not accept that my wife has grounds for divorce .Can she divorce me now or can I make her wait for 5 years?
A. If your wife wants a divorce and she is properly advised she can have one (as can you) whether you want a divorce or not. And she can have one now. You will not be able to make her wait five years for a divorce. She will realize that as soon as she takes legal advice.
